A Time of No Rain
by Filia
Summary: Ten years after the events of FFVIII, the characters have moved on and started their own lives. However, a tragic event draws some of them together again, and it's something none of them would have ever expected.
1. Chapter 1

**A Time of No Rain** - a Final Fantasy VIII fanfic  
_by Erika Riggio [Filia]_

Disclaimer: All of the characters of FFVIII belong to Squaresoft/SquareEnix.

---

**Chapter 1**

"IRVINE!! What are you DOING up there?!"

Selphie Kinneas, Headmistress of Trabia Garden, stood with her hands on her hips, looking up at the largest pine tree in the vicinity of the Garden complex. She had a very decided frown on her slightly freckled face; even her usually bouncy short hair seemed to drip with anger. "You're setting a bad example for the children, Irvine!" she insisted, biting her lip out of nervousness. Why did he always insist on doing things like this?

Poor misunderstood Irvine Kinneas. He had simply climbed up into the tree to get a better view of the students of Trabia Garden playing basketball in the newly repaved court. He was sitting very quietly and comfortably on a large branch several limbs up, and didn't see what Selphie was making a big deal out of. That was a wife for you.

"Don't be so uptight, Selphie dearest," he said with his trademark crooked smile and a slight tip of his cowboy hat. "It's not like I'm hurting anyone. The girls won't even see me up here; Yukiko's in class, and Selene's napping." He smiled fondly as he spoke of his daughters.

Selphie's face softened visibly, but her hands remained firmly on her hips. "That's no excuse, Irvine!" she insisted, although she didn't look nearly as angry as she had when she had first spotted him in the tree. "You're the head of SeeD. You should have more dignity!"

A loud guffaw erupted from the tree. "That's funny to hear from you, Miss Tilmitt!" Irvine said with a wink. He always called her by her maiden name when he was teasing her. "I seem to remember Zell telling me some stories about how clumsy you were when you first transferred to Balamb!"

Selphie scowled. "That was ten years ago, dear. And honestly, Zell doesn't know what he's talking about half the time. You know how he exaggerates."

"I heard it from Squall, too," Irvine said quickly, grabbing a higher branch and swinging up out of Selphie's reach -- he definitely didn't want to be in range for the girlish swat he knew she was planning in retaliation for his remarks.

Seeing her plan for abuse thwarted, Selphie resorted to childishly sticking out her tongue. "You'll never grow up, Irvine. You have responsibility for students at all the Gardens around the world, and yet you still won't grow up." She sat down in the grass, suddenly feeling rather lonely. Trabia was lovely, but it was rather desolate as well. She sighed wistfully, thoughts of Zell and Squall and, by extension, Rinoa and Quistis filling her with memories. She couldn't help but wonder how they were all doing; she was still rather close with Rinoa, and they normally wrote each other frequently, but she hadn't heard from her in several weeks. As for Zell and Quistis, she hadn't heard anything in a few months, at least.

Selphie looked up at Irvine, biting her lip. "Do you think everyone is okay, Irvine?" she said nervously, cocking her head. "I haven't heard from anyone in so long.." 

There was a pause while Irvine thought things through. "I'm sure they're all fine, Selphie dearest," he replied finally, sliding down out of the tree to sit on the grass beside his wife. "Quistis is probably busy at Balamb; it's exam season, so the infirmary will be busier than usual. Zell's always wrapped up in his academy, not to mention being wrapped up with Iris." He winked at Selphie and grinned.

"And Squall and Rinoa?" Selphie asked eagerly, leaning against Irvine's shoulder.

Irvine thought, then shrugged, displacing Selphie's head as he did so. "Dunno. Probably just avoiding life for a while. You know how they are."

Selphie sighed. She was hoping for something more reassuring than this. "I guess so," she said quietly, looking at her knees. She bit her lip again, then looked up as she heard a voice.

"Mama! Mama!" Selphie and Irvine's younger daughter, Selene, who was nearly five and had red hair like her father's, came running out of the front gate of Trabia Garden and into her mother's arms. She was sobbing.

Selphie lovingly patted her daughter's flaming hair. "What is it, my sweet?" she asked soothingly.

Selene pulled away to stare into her mother's eyes, her face the picture of indignance. "Yuki came home from class and she got the mail and there was a letter for you. I TOLD her not to open it, but she did anyway, and then she ripped the corner! And she made me promise not to tell you, but I told her I would, and she got mad at me!" The girl's lip quivered in anger and distress.

At the mention of a letter, Selphie's face instantly brightened. "A letter?!" she exclaimed, not really caring how childish she seemed to her daughter. "It came today? Did you see who it was from?"

Irvine laughed. "You know Lene can't read, dearest," he said with a wink, taking his daughter up in his arms. "I bet you want to know who it's from, too, don't you?" he said to Selene, poking her nose with his. The little girl nodded enthusiastically.

Grabbing the hand that Irvine had offered her, Selphie pulled herself up from the grass and practically ran into the Garden. Irvine raised a mock eyebrow at Selene, who giggled in response, before they followed the excitable Trabia Headmistress inside.

---

Yukiko Kinneas was sitting very innocently in her mother's chair when Selphie entered the office of the Headmistress. The letter was sitting face down on the desk, looking rather crumpled but otherwise in tact. The eight-year-old girl pushed a lock of long auburn hair behind her ear and stated matter-of-factly, "There's a letter for you, Mom."

Selphie looked rather disheveled as she grabbed the letter off of the desk -- nearly ripping it again in the process -- and leapt up onto the desk to sit and read it.

Irvine entered a few moments later, with Selene in tow. "Who's it from, dearest?" he asked curiously, trying to peek at the letter. Selphie turned away, however, and curled up on the desk, reading as rapidly as possible. Her eyes were glued to the page; Irvine reached a hand out, but she swatted it away. Puzzled, Irvine shifted Selene on his hip and waited rather impatiently. What could be in the letter that was so important?

A few minutes passed, and finally Selphie lowered the letter slowly. Her eyes were slightly glazed, as if in disbelief. "I.. I.." she stammered. Finally she just held the letter out to Irvine, hand shaking slightly.

Irvine frowned and set Selene down on the floor before taking the letter from his wife's trembling hand. His eyes opened wide as he recognized an unruly form of Rinoa Leonhart's handwriting.

Dearest Selphie,

I apologize for not returning your letter in a timely manner. I'm glad to hear that Yuki and Lene are doing well, and that the final stages of Trabia's refurbishment are coming along.

Unfortunately, this letter cannot be written with any sense of cheer. Several weeks ago, Squall became sick. Nothing I did for him seemed to make him any better -- bed rest, medicine, it all seemed useless. Finally, we took him to see Quistis at Balamb to see if she could discover what was wrong.

It's.. it's awful, Selphie. I can't bring myself to write it; I'll have to tell you in person. Suffice it to say that it was nothing I ever expected. Please, if you could come out here to Winhill as soon as possible, I would be so grateful; you haven't any idea what I'm going through.

Please bring Irvine and the children along as well, if you wish. I would love to see them, and it might brighten Squall's spirits, as well.

Yours, Rinoa Leonhart

Irvine blinked several times. Finally he looked helplessly at Selphie. "What do you think it might be, my dearest?" he asked in hushed tones, moving closer to his wife.

Selphie had not moved since she had handed the letter to her husband. Even her hand was still slightly outstretched. It took her a moment to react to Irvine's words; even then, all she did was turn her head toward him slightly and stare for a moment. It was hard for her to imagine that her old friends were having any kind of difficulty; in Selphie's world, for the most part, everything was sunshine and rainbows and lollipops. This was like a firm smack in the face. "I.. I don't know.." she murmured, curling up even more on the desk, hugging her knees. "We.. we have go.. to Balamb.." she finally managed to stammer.

Reaching out and putting a hand on her shoulder, Irvine nodded. "I'll call for an airship, dearest," he said, reaching down and picking up the bewildered Selene, then motioning to Yukiko, who was still sitting quietly in her mother's office chair. "Come on, Yuki," he said quietly. "Let's leave Mama alone."

Yukiko scowled indignantly, looking very much like Rinoa for a moment to Selphie's eyes, then reluctantly got up and began to follow her father and sister out of the room. At the last second, however, she turned around in the doorway and looked at her mother.

"I'm sure Uncle Squall is fine, Mom," she said confidently. "Nothing could ever happen to him." She put on the naive smile of a child, then turned and left the room.

At her daughter's words, Selphie couldn't help but cringe. Yuki WAS right.. after all, nothing horrible had ever happened to Squall before. He was like some kind of super man; no matter what situation he got himself into, he always managed to get himself out. She thought back fondly on her days as a SeeD with Squall and the others, and the way Squall always seemed to have a plan -- well, after he realized that being a colossal jerk half the time probably wasn't the best way to be. But even before, he was still brilliant, in his own kind of way.

But if Squall could get himself out of anything, then why was Rinoa so worried? Had they finally come across the Great Problem that Squall Leonhart couldn't solve? And what was it? Selphie didn't even want to let herself speculate, but her hyperactive mind came up with all sorts of horrific ideas.

She finally couldn't take it anymore. "If I stay in this office any longer, I am going to crack," she said aloud to herself. She got up and made her way up to her bedroom to pack, closing the door behind her.


	2. Chapter 2

**A Time of No Rain** - a Final Fantasy VIII fanfic  
_by Erika Riggio [Filia]_

Disclaimer: All of the characters of FFVIII belong to Squaresoft/SquareEnix.

---

**Chapter 2**

It was spring, Rinoa Leonhart's favorite time of year. She was sitting in the garden in the back of Rainedrop, the pub that used to belong to Squall's mother, Raine, and of which Rinoa was now the proprietor. She had planted the garden herself after she and Squall had moved here shortly after their marriage ten years ago. It was filled with lilies and roses, Rinoa's favorite flowers, and had a small stone bench under a shady elm tree, with a birdbath situated in eye's view. It was easily Rinoa's favorite place in the entire world; but today, she was not filled with the joy she usually felt when she was here. In fact, she was filled with what could almost be considered a sense of loathing.

Rinoa put on a characteristic scowl, but with more passion than her usual teasing expression. How dare the world still be so gorgeous! It should be fall or winter, dead and desolate, not so alive and green and happy. She wasn't happy, so how could the world go on like this? She slumped over on the bench, looking down at the brown of the wet earth.

How had this happened? Their lives had been so good, so promising. After Ultimecia's defeat, it was as if the entire world had turned over a new leaf. Everything had seemed so happy and carefree. Who cared if she was a sorceress? The thing that had separated her from society suddenly didn't matter; Ultimecia was gone, and the sorceresses of the world were safe again. Edea had moved on and reopened her orphanage with Cid. And, most importantly, Rinoa and Squall were free to get married and live their lives as they pleased.

It had all seemed so perfect. The perfection had lasted so long, she hadn't imagined that it would ever end.

It wasn't as though they hadn't had problems. That would have been saying too much. Try as they might, for example, Rinoa simply couldn't seem to get pregnant. She and Squall wanted a baby with all their hearts, but whatever governed the powers of the world didn't have it in the cards for them. So, Rinoa was forced to live vicariously as the aunt to the two Kinneas girls and Zell and Iris's five children. She didn't mind that, but she had definitely been kept up nights by the worry and regret that plagued her.

One problem replaces another, Rinoa thought bitterly. But this was a much bigger problem.

She thought about the letter she had written to Selphie. Hopefully it had gotten there okay, and hopefully the Kinneases would come and visit soon. That was what she needed -- to see old friends, to play with the girls, to just forget her troubles for a while.

---

It had happened so quickly. Sometimes Rinoa had to remind herself forcibly that it had really happened at all. One day, everything had been fine. The next, Squall was sick. Incredibly so. Rinoa told him to stay in bed -- very much against Squall's strong will -- and pampered him all she could, not even letting him get up for so much as a meal. She enjoyed getting to baby him for once; Squall, although better than he was when she first met him, was still rather aloof and standoffish most of the time, and generally wouldn't let Rinoa pamper him in any way. But Rinoa also had a strong will, and she wasn't going to back down this time.

She had thought he had the flu. It certainly seemed like it, at first. But time passed, and Squall didn't seem to be getting any better. Rinoa began neglecting the pub, neglecting the housework, neglecting everything but Squall. She got letters from Selphie, but they sat on her writing table, unanswered. All she cared about was Squall, and that he get well.

But he didn't get well. He didn't get worse -- Rinoa's ministrations helped with that -- but he didn't get better. At last Rinoa gave up hope. She had grown up with the mentality of a princess; she could do anything if she put her mind to it. She had even managed to win over Squall, something his comrades thought might never happen. It took a lot to make her give up hope, but she finally did. She loved Squall too much; she didn't want something horrible to happen to him. So she did the very first thing she could think of. She called an airship and had Squall and herself transported to Balamb Garden, where Squall could be treated by the woman who was considered the best new doctor of the post-Sorceress age: Quistis Trepe.

Neither Rinoa nor Squall had seen Quistis since their wedding. It was for good reason. Although Quistis had been offered numerous instructing jobs at all the Gardens around the world after Ultimecia's defeat, her ego was still wounded from her failure at Balamb. So she threw herself into her new passion, the healing arts. In her travels as a member of Squall's team, she had picked up many useful healing skills, and thought that perhaps the trade of a doctor would be better suited to her than the trade of a SeeD instructor. She dived headlong into the Balamb Garden library, studying all the books she could find about medicine and healing, and apprenticed herself under Dr. Kadowaki, the resident doctor at Balamb, who was nearing retirement. Quistis flourished as a doctor, and took over Dr. Kadowaki's position when she stepped down eight years after the defeat of Ultimecia. Dr. Trepe was easily now the most well known doctor in the world, although she did borrow slightly from her fame as being one of the Sorceress Six (as Squall's team was often called in local legend).

Winter was waning on the day the airship took Squall and Rinoa Leonhart from their home in Winhill to the island of Balamb. They hadn't been here in years, either. Ironically, they had planned to spend their tenth wedding anniversary on a vacation to Balamb. Needless to say, this wasn't exactly the vacation they had intended.

The airship ride had been pleasant. It was certainly nice being on an airship that wasn't piloted by Selphie, a hobby that Irvine's wife had, thankfully, given up after she became Headmistress of Trabia Garden. Rinoa still cringed when she thought about some of the narrow escapes they had witnessed in the Ragnarok. Squall spent most of the short trip in the bed in their private room, a courtesy that still amazed him. Being somewhat of a celebrity was rather foreign to Squall, but Rinoa was used to the special treatment. They arrived at the airship station on the plains of Balamb without incident, and made their way via private car to the Garden.

Balamb really hadn't changed much over the years. It was filled with students, as it had become significantly more popular after Ultimecia's defeat. Parts of the structure that had been destroyed in the Garden's infamous take-off had now been rebuilt under Xu, the new Headmistress, and she made sure that the building now remained firmly on the ground. Xu had never been a fan of the flying Garden. Squall and Rinoa donned hats and inconspicuous clothes in an attempt to sneak into the complex unnoticed, but a good portion of the students and instructors they came across still recognized them, some of them staring very unabashedly. Rinoa blushed and Squall cringed as they made their way to the infirmary.

Quistis was sitting at her desk in the front room, poring over some medical reports. At the sound of the door, she looked up, peering over her glasses. Even with the disguises, Quistis recognized her old companions instantly. "Squall? Rinoa? What are you doing here?!" She practically jumped up, straightening her clothes and hair subconsciously in her surprise. She had been up most of the night caring for a student who had been injured in the Training Center, and looked rather unkempt. She hurried over to Rinoa and embraced her in a tight hug. "This is such a surprise! I had no idea you were coming!"

"Neither did I, to tell the truth," Squall said, with a glance at his wife. Rinoa had planned the trip entirely without his knowledge, which irked him to no end. He hated doctors.

Rinoa returned Quistis's hug, shooting a disapproving glare at Squall as she did so. "I wish we could have come in better times, Quistis," Rinoa said regretfully as she released her old friend, biting her lip and looking nervously at Squall.

Quistis looked puzzled. "Better times? Whatever do you mean?" She too looked at Squall, wondering if it would be out of line to give him a hug as well. She decided she had probably better not. She had spent a long time getting over her crush on him; being near him like that would probably be the death of her.

Squall shrugged, leaning against the wall. "Rinoa seems to think I'm sick," he replied matter-of-factly, with another glance at his wife. "I suppose I am, but I don't think it's anything I need to see a _doctor_ for." He practically spat out the word.

Rinoa put her hands on her hips. "You know I wouldn't bring you here if I didn't think it was serious, Squall," she said in a haughty tone. Honestly, why couldn't he just trust her? She looked back at Quistis. "He's been ill for weeks, Quistis. Some days he can't even get out of bed."

"You won't _let me_ get out of bed," Squall practically snapped, although his tone was still simply the irritated one he always seemed to use, no matter what the occasion. He could even sound irritated when he said he loved her, although Rinoa knew he didn't mean it that way. It was just force of habit.

"I don't know what else to do, Quis," Rinoa continued, completely ignoring the fact that Squall had spoken. "Could you take a look at him? A thorough examination. Check _everything_, I don't want you to miss anything it might be." She looked at her husband, who had the inkling of a betrayed look in his eyes. She smirked at him, in an "I told you so -- don't mess with me" kind of way.

Quistis couldn't help but smile. Their banter, almost childish in a way, had always amused her, even in the early days, when they had traveled together. But despite all that, and perhaps in part because of it, they really did make a fantastic couple. She could hear the concern in Rinoa's voice, however, so she didn't let her smile last long. "I'll do what I can, Rinoa," she said, pushing her glasses up on her nose and straightening her coat in an attempt to look professional. Considering the circles under her eyes and her rather messy hair, it was not entirely successful. She motioned to one of the infirmary's empty rooms, and Squall made his way in very reluctantly. Instantly he noticed that, by some twist of fate, this was the same room he had occupied after his duel with Seifer, the same room where he had first met Ellone again, the same room where his life had changed forever. What change would be in store for him this time?

---

The guest rooms at Balamb Garden were really quite nice. Rinoa had used them before, the last time she had visited. This time, however, the circumstances seemed even more grave.

She knew she was being silly, thinking that. The fate of the entire world had been at stake 10 years ago; had Ultimecia's plan been successful, her time compression would have destroyed everything the world had ever known. But the problem with Squall was much more intimate, much more immediate. If something happened-- The physical world might have been at stake last time, but this time, it was Rinoa's world. And in true princess mentality, that was much more important. As the stuck-up, material voice in Rinoa's head often said, "To hell with the masses. What about _me_?"

She hated that voice. She hated being selfish.

It was three in the morning, but Rinoa didn't care. She was wide awake, and had been ever since they had arrived sixteen hours earlier. The bed was still made; not even the bedspread had beed disturbed from the position in which she had found it. She was sitting in the chair next to the small desk in the corner, staring at a sheet of paper, blank except for two words: "Dear Ellone."

It seemed the obvious choice. Ellone Loire was the closest thing that Squall had to family, next to his father, of course. But she couldn't bring herself to write to Laguna; he was so busy with his duties as President of Esthar that she did not think it would be right to bother him with what might be a trivial matter. But Ellone would care. Rinoa was certain of this. Even if it did turn out to be nothing in the end, even if she had to follow it up with another letter two days later saying "Nevermind, it was a mistake, he's just fine now." Ellone would care.

If she was so sure Ellone would care, then why was it so hard to write? Maybe it was because she knew that Ellone would care. She would care a lot, in fact. Knowing her, she might very well get on the next airship from Esthar to Balamb to see if there were anything she could do, any way she could help. That was just the kind of person Ellone was.

Rinoa smiled ruefully. It was amazing how different Ellone was from Squall, despite the fact that they had grown up together. She knew that a lot of the reason that the way Squall had been the way he had been -- and the way he could still be -- was because of the tragic way in which he and Ellone had been separated. Still, it was uncanny how the two seemed to be mirror opposites of one another. It's not as though she were any stranger to that herself; she and her father were nothing alike. She was much more like her mother than her father.

Julia. Rinoa sighed. She didn't like thinking about her mother, even now, so many years after her death. She had been so kind, so talented, so incredible. Rinoa missed her with every fiber of her being. Nothing could fill that hole. She had thought that children might, but she supposed she would never know.

"Stop _thinking_, Rinoa," she told herself out loud. "You have a letter to write." She pulled herself up in her chair, the picture of princessly poise, and began to write in her steady, flowing script.

Dear Ellone,

It must be a surprise to hear from me after all this time. I don't know if Squall ever writes you, but I tell him to. Therefore, I don't know what you know about our situation now, and where or how I should begin.

How are you? I hope Laguna is well--

She crumpled the paper and threw it in the trash. This wasn't working. She put her elbows on the table and buried her head in her hands. "You're hopeless, Rinoa," she murmured. "A nervous wreck. What on earth are you going to do now?"

So she did the only thing she could think to do. She cried.

---

It was unusually cold outside for what were supposed to be the early days of spring. Rinoa had ventured outside for the first time since they had arrived nearly two weeks ago, only to find that she should have taken a jacket. She sat on the stone steps at Garden's front gate, knees drawn up to her chest, trying to warm herself in the rays of the feeble sun.

She hadn't heard anything about Squall yet. Every time she asked, Quistis or one of her assistants would say that they didn't know anything yet, but that they were doing more tests. If she pressed them, they would just repeat themselves, like characters in some kind of game that were only able to say the two phrases they were programmed to say. After twelve days of being melancholy alone in her room, she had finally decided that enough was enough, and that she was going to enjoy herself while she was here. Well, as much as she could, anyway.

She had mused about going to visit Zell and Iris and their family, but once she had experienced the unseasonable weather the idea was discarded. Although the walking might have kept her warmer than simply sitting here on the steps, she didn't want to risk it, as the sky was growing strangely dark. The weather would hold for a while, but it looked as if it might be snowing by evening.

Rinoa's ears perked suddenly; she thought she had heard a voice calling her name. She looked around and shrugged. Must have just been her imagination. But then she heard it again. "Mrs. Leonhart?" It was coming from just inside the gate, strangely close. She wondered why she couldn't see the source of the call.

When the person finally came into view, she understood. The boy was unusually short, even for someone of his age; he looked to only be about twelve or thirteen. He had short spiky hair and wore a SeeD student uniform that was entirely too big for him. Rinoa couldn't help but smile. "Yes?" she answered, straightening herself a little.

The boy came up very close to her; he was not at all afraid or intimidated, something that Rinoa rarely came across nowadays. "Dr. Trepe asked me to fetch you, ma'am. She wants to talk about Mr. Leonhart." He nodded, looking as if he almost wanted to hold out his arm to escort her to the infirmary. He was incredibly well mannered; Rinoa was secretly rather impressed.

She got up and straightened her clothes, rumpled from sitting on the steps for so long. "Do you go to school here at Garden?" she asked, trying to make conversation with the boy while they made their way to the infirmary.

The boy nodded, then stopped walking abruptly and held out his hand. "I'm Shiro. Nice to meet you."

Rinoa had to stifle a giggle. Sometimes this was how she imagined a small Squall acting back at the orphanage, before Ellone left. She liked the picture of young Squall introducing himself to others very matter-of-factly, as if knowing him would give you all the answers to all your problems. She took Shiro's hand and squeezed it. "That's a nice name. Shiro."

Shiro positively beamed, as if he were pleased to the core that one of the Sorceress Six had complimented him, but also with the air that it was nothing less than he had expected. The two resumed walking. "I came from Edea's House," he said proudly, not taking his eyes off of Rinoa's face for a second, causing him to almost run into the side of one of turnstiles in the Garden's entryway. "All the best SeeDs come from there. Mr. Leonhart came from Edea's House, didn't he?"

So, this boy came from the same orphanage as Squall, Rinoa mused. In fact, all of the Sorceress Six, other than Rinoa, had come from Edea's House. Any student at Garden who came from there must be filled with pride, she realized, as well as an enormous desire to succeed. It was only a natural reaction when you came from a place connected with the group of people who had saved the world.

Rinoa smiled down at Shiro. "Yes, he did. So did Quistis and Selphie and Irvine and Zell." She didn't know why she was telling him, or even why he had asked in the first place. He obviously knew. But the incredible grin that spread across his face at the confirmation of his former home's glory gave her all the answer she needed.

After a few moments, though, the boy's face dropped. "I'm sorry about Mr. Leonhart," he said quickly to Rinoa, looking up at her without blinking.

Rinoa stopped in her tracks and whirled to face Shiro. "What? What happened? What do you know?" It took all of her will to keep herself from taking the boy by the shoulders and shaking the information out of him.

Shiro blinked and his mouth dropped open. He had obviously said more than he had been told to say. "Um.. nothing! Nothing, Mrs. Leonhart! Nothing at all!" He pulled himself free of her eager, frightening gaze and ran down the hall towards the dormitories as fast as his little legs would carry him.

Rinoa, too, set off in a run. Her first intention was to catch up with Shiro and get the information from him, but common sense told her that it would be better to go to the infirmary and get the information from Quistis herself. She made a sharp left turn and sprinted off.

She arrived in the infirmary in what seemed like seconds and leaned over with her hand propping her up against the wall, panting for breath. Quistis was at her desk, trying to look composed, but she looked up sharply when she heard the door bang as Rinoa entered. "Rinoa! What on earth?" She blinked, then realization crossed her face. "What did Shiro say? I knew I shouldn't have sent him, but there was no one else around, and he's the fastest for delivering messages."

"Wh-what's wrong with Squ-squall?" Rinoa managed to get out between gasps for breath. It had been a long time since she'd had to run anywhere, and she was horribly out of practice.

Quistis looked sad; Rinoa thought she could almost see tears in her eyes, but discarded the idea as a trick of the light or just her imagination. "Sit down, Rinoa," she said kindly, gesturing to the chair on the other side of her desk.

Rinoa pulled herself up from her hunched position against the wall and settled herself into the chair as best she could. Quistis never sounded quite this serious unless something was wrong; moreso, she never sounded quite so kind towards Rinoa unless something were _really_ wrong. Rinoa had a feeling that Quistis had never quite forgiven her for being the girl Squall had fallen in love with, although Quistis was very good at hiding it.

Quistis leaned forward, elbows resting on the desk. She opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again and sighed. "I don't know how to tell you, Rinoa," she said finally, leaning back in the chair and putting a hand to her forehead.

Rinoa jumped up again, hands on hips in her most authoritative stance, the same one she often adopted with Squall. Her voice, however, didn't match her demeanor at all; it sounded very small and pleading, like a child's. "You _have_ to tell me, Quis! Please! I'm begging you! What's wrong with him?"

"He's _dying_, Rinoa!" Quistis's voice came out tainted with anger and frustration, complete with a dramatic bang of her fist on the table. She caught herself too late, recoiling into her chair, looking as if she wanted to sink into the leather and hide. "He's dying," she repeated in a whisper.

Rinoa suddenly felt very lightheaded and was forced to sit down. But that just made things worse; now she felt as if she was going to throw up. She gathered her legs to her chest, curling into a ball, in utter disbelief of the words she had just heard. "No," she choked out, voice and eyes filling with tears as the full force of the discovery hit her. "No, you're wrong. He can't be."

Quistis was helpless. It was times like this when she hated being a doctor. "I'm sorry," she said lamely, unsure of what to do. This was so different from normal; she could tell parents and friends of students or teachers that their loved ones were going to perish without blinking an eye, but this was so different that it was startling. "I don't know what to say."

Rinoa looked into Quistis's eyes, her face panic-stricken. "What is it?"

Unable to meet Rinoa's eyes, Quistis pretended to consult her notes. "Cancer," she replied quietly. "The same kind that killed Raine. It might have remained benign, but all the stress he put on his body, using the Guardian Forces.." She trailed off, staring at a stray mark on her paper.

Rinoa felt her throat constrict, the tears coming too quickly to hold back. Huge drops rolled down her cheeks, silent and unchecked. "Th-there's nothing you c-can..?"

Biting her lip, Quistis fought back the tears that were gathering in her eyes. "Nothing," she breathed. She got up suddenly, knocking a glass of water off of the desk in her haste. It shattered on the floor in a million pieces. "I'm sorry, please excuse me," she blurted out, practically running down the hall and into the bathroom.

Rinoa had never felt so alone as she had at that moment. She sat in the chair, feeling her stomach churn and her throat tighten, until finally she slumped over onto the desk, having lost consciousness completely.


	3. Chapter 3

**A Time of No Rain** - a Final Fantasy VIII fanfic  
_by Erika Riggio [Filia]_

Disclaimer: All of the characters of FFVIII belong to Squaresoft/SquareEnix.

---

**Chapter 3**

Ellone Loire was lying on her back, staring up at the bright morning sky. The setting was lovely, ignoring the fact that she was lying on her back on the top of a skyscraper in the city of Esthar. She loved the city because it meant she got to be around Uncle Laguna all the time, but it got to be stifling. Sometimes, like today, she just needed to escape.

At least, that was what everyone assumed. It was true, but it wasn't the whole story.

She fingered the edge of her scarf idly, watching as the rays of the rising sun turned the edges of the clouds a soft pink. She wondered where he was. He was usually so prompt.

"Elle?" called a soft voice from the stairwell several feet away.

Ellone looked up, a teasing smile playing on her lips. It was about time. "You're late," she said with mock seriousness, sitting up to get a good look at her companion.

"You're early," Seifer replied coldly, although Ellone could detect a hint of a smile in the edges of his tone.

Ellone cocked her head with a disapproving look. "You never want to take responsibility, do you, Seifer?" She frowned, but it wasn't entirely convincing.

Seifer sighed. "Fine. Fujin and Raijin were out in the hall when I left. They asked me where I was going. I couldn't tell them the truth, of course; you can only imagine how they'd react. First I told them I was going to train out in the desert, but that only riled Raijin up and made him want to come with me. Finally I told them that Laguna sent me on some kind of mission, and that 'training' was the cover. They bought that." He smirked as he seated himself on the roof next to Ellone.

She laughed. "You know I don't care, Seif," she said, leaning against his arm. "I'm just happy you came."

"Why wouldn't I come? I always come." He reached up and wrapped his strong arm around her small shoulders. "You need protecting, milady, no matter where you go."

Ellone rolled her eyes. "If you're still operating under that guise, you can go back to your 'secret mission' right now, Seifer," she replied haughtily.

"I'm not," Seifer answered, giving her shoulders a squeeze. It was only partly a lie; the logical part of his brain needed to be given that excuse every now and then, but the other part, the part that Ellone had helped him discover in the first place, needed no convincing whatsoever.

"Good," she answered, curling up next to him. Even though it was spring, there was still a bite of cold in the morning air. The two sat like this for a moment, silent; there was no need for words.

After a few moments, Seifer heard someone at the door which opened to the roof. He jumped up, startling Ellone, and went to stand several feet away from her. Ellone was surprised, but understood when she saw one of Laguna's messengers come through the door.

"Ah, Lady Ellone. I thought you might be here. There's a message for you." The middle-aged man looked over and caught sight of Seifer. "Sir Seifer?" There was a pause; both Ellone and Seifer feared the worst. "You should probably come, too. The contents of the message might interest you as well." With that, the messenger turned around and headed for the door.

Once the door was closed, Seifer and Ellone shared a look of confusion and curiosity. "I guess we should go downstairs," Ellone said with a hint of reluctance, despite the fact that she was ultimately curious about what kind of message would warrant the interruption of her morning reverie.

"I guess," Seifer replied, sounding even more reluctant than his companion. Well, it was probably something important. He felt Ellone reach over and grab his hand; he was momentarily surprised, but got over it quickly -- he would have to get used to such things, after all.

Ellone scampered as fast as her feet would carry her down the stairs, with Seifer in tow. She finally reached the mail room just outside Laguna's office. She approached the elderly woman at the desk. "There's a message for me?" she asked somewhat breathlessly.

"Ah, yes, Lady Ellone," said the old woman, slowly getting up from her chair to sort through the pile of messages on the table behind her. Seifer rolled his eyes; the old bag always took forever, it seemed.

As the old woman shuffled through the messages, she glanced over at Seifer. "Brought your bodyguard with you, milady? It's not a _dangerous_ message, you know." She went back to shuffling.

Seifer glared at the back of the woman's head and opened his mouth to say something, but Ellone intervened. "The messenger said that the letter would interest Seifer as well," she replied quickly, shooting a look at Seifer. He recognized that glance and shut his mouth.

After what seemed like years, the mail woman finally produced a small envelope. "There you are, milady," she said with a smile.

"Thank you," Ellone said curtly, turning and exiting into the hall, then practically throwing herself down onto the ground in a cross-legged position to read the letter. Seifer sat down next to her, but with decidedly more grace.

After reading the letter through once, Ellone's eyes widened and she repeated the contents aloud for Seifer's benefit:

"Dearest Ellone,

"I am dreadfully sorry that I was not able to contact you sooner, but the events of the past few months have been quite traumatic and have kept me rather busy. In short, I regret to inform you that Squall has been diagnosed with cancer. We are currently not sure how much longer he has to live. He has expressed a strong desire to see you, but unfortunately Quistis has suggested that travel might not be the best option in his condition. If you could spare some time to come to Winhill, even for a few days, I would be incredibly grateful.

"The other news I have to share can be either cheerful or otherwise, depending on your perspective. At the same time as Squall's diagnosis, it was discovered that I am, at long last, pregnant. I have to take this news with a grain of salt, however, as it is very likely that Squall will never see our child, and I will almost definitely be raising the child alone.

"I don't mean to bore you with the details of our rather disarrayed lives; all I mean to convey is that a visit from you would be very much appreciated as soon as you can manage to get away. If you can bring Laguna with you, all the better, although I don't expect that he will have time to spare, even for his son.

"I hope to see you soon.

"Regards, Rinoa Leonhart"

Seifer blinked; he was at a loss for words. Squall, dying? No, it couldn't be. It had to be a mistake. There had to be something someone could do.

Suddently he looked feverishly at Ellone. "Elle, couldn't you--"

"You know it wouldn't work, Seif," she replied, her voice very small and afraid. "I tried with Uncle Laguna, remember? I tried with Rinoa, too. There's no reason to believe that it would work this time." She wrung her hands, frustrated with the uselessness of her powers. "Besides, where would I send someone even if my powers could change time? He got this from Raine, I know it. And--" she choked on her words, a few tears escaping. "I tried to change that already," she said in a murmur. "Uncle Laguna asked me to, right after I came to Esthar after the Sorceress was defeated. But I couldn't do it." She curled up, leaning against Seifer for support. "I can't do anything, Seifer."

Seifer wrapped his arms around Ellone, giving her a gentle squeeze. He was vaguely aware that someone could easily see them here and realize what had been going on between them, but he realized that he didn't really care anymore. Besides, people might just write it off as a private, comforting moment between a lady and her bodyguard, nothing more.

"You can do something," he said finally.

Ellone looked up at Seifer's face, tears glistening on her cheeks and in her eyes. "What? What can I do, Seifer? There's nothing!"

Seifer shrugged, releasing her and standing up. "You can go be with him."

Ellone froze and bit her lip. Her first thought was to retort with how that wouldn't help anything, but she quickly realized that it might, in its own small way. "Okay," she said, standing up with confidence. She took a few steps toward her room to pack, then turned on her heel and looked at Seifer. "You'll come, too, right?"

Seifer blinked. "Me?" He chuckled. "Squall wouldn't want to see me."

"I think he would," Ellone insisted. She paused. "Besides," she added, "_I_ want to see you."

Seifer looked somewhat surprised, then smiled a rare smile. "All right," he said. "I'll see you at the airship dock in--?"

"An hour," Ellone finished, looking confident. She looked as if she was about to walk away again, but walked toward Seifer instead, enveloping him in a hug. "Thank you, Seif," she breathed into his chest.

Seifer planted a gentle kiss on the top of her head. "Any time, milady," he replied into her hair.

---

The airship port was bustling with activity. Spring was a prime time for airship travel, and most businesses in Esthar found themselves seeking temporary employees to fill the gaps left by so many people taking off for a vacation to Balamb or Dollet or even Galbadia. Ellone and Seifer found it was easy to hide themselves among the crowds of people; apart from a few sharp-eyed youths here and there, everyone was too wrapped up in his or her own affairs to notice that the adopted daughter of the President of Esthar and her personal bodyguard were making their way to the private presidential airship.

Laguna had quickly adopted the Ragnarok as his personal airship soon after the defeat of Ultimecia. None of the Sorceress Six had wanted to keep it around besides Selphie, and she was talked out of it by Irvine, who seemed to be somewhat terrified of the prospect that Selphie might devote any portion of her free time to flying the airship. So it had been left at the dock in Esthar, the only airship port at the time, and would have sat collecting dust if Laguna had not stepped in. Even so, the Ragnarok did spend a sufficient amount of time collecting dust, as Laguna was often too busy to take any time off of work. The only time the airship was used was when Laguna's presence was required at a World Conference, and those were only every couple of years or so. Thus, Ellone had decided that Laguna would likely not notice if she and Seifer took the ship to visit Squall in Winhill.

Ellone impulsively reached out and grabbed Seifer's hand as they stood before the Ragnarok, an airship that had once been a towering spectacle of majesty and glory before the defeat of Ultimecia and the Airship Revolution. Now even more glorious airships were seen daily in the skies over Esthar, but none were more revered than the Ragnarok. Ellone had not ridden on it in years, and she was filled with excitement. She turned to Seifer.

"Isn't this exciting?" she exclaimed, her face lit up with joy. She lowered her voice and leaned towards him slightly. "We can imagine we're going on a romantic getaway together," she murmured, having to force herself not to show any sign of affection; they were still in public, after all.

"Seifer?" called a voice from amid the crowd. Seifer looked up, then rolled his eyes when he saw the large man who had been the source of the call.

"Why now, of all times," he muttered to himself, shaking his head and pulling away from Ellone. She looked up at him curiously, then she too saw the figure coming towards them and understood.

"Seifer? Whatcha doing here, you know?" Raijin asked, looking around as if he expected to see a monster come down from the ceiling for Seifer to do battle with.

A slim silver-haired woman came up beside Raijin. "MISSION," she said curtly, glaring at Seifer, a look on her face that was part confusion, part contempt.

Seifer looked momentarily confused, but then he leaned casually against a post as if nothing had happened. "Oh, that dumb mission. I finished that ages ago." He glanced at Ellone, silently telling her not to say anything. She didn't need to be told, of course.

"Oh. We thought you'd be gone all day, you know? Maybe a few days, you know?" Raijin looked even more confused than usual, then the confusion slipped from his face and was replaced by a grin. "Not that it matters, you know? I'm glad you're back, you know?"

"ELLONE," Fujin said, pointing at her. Fujin never had much to say, but she made it very clear what she meant when she did speak.

Seifer paused, thinking, but Ellone jumped in, much to his chagrin. "He's escorting me," she said quickly, glancing at Seifer as if to say "sorry, that's all I've got."

Seifer was unsure as to what else to add. "Yeah, escorting her," he repeated lamely after a moment.

Raijin, always the curious one, asked the question that neither Seifer nor Ellone had wanted him to ask. "Where's she going, you know?" He smiled, obviously fooled by the ruse, but just wanting more information.

Fujin had always been the sharper one. "FOLLOW," she added, meaning that if Seifer was going to go somewhere (apparently for the second time today), she and Raijin wanted to come along, too.

Seifer had just about given up hope, and Ellone stepped in again. "We're going to Winhill," she replied. Seifer gave her a shocked look; had she just blown their cover? "I'm visiting my mother's grave," she added in a softer tone, glaring up at Seifer for not trusting her.

Raijin looked dejected. "Oh. Well, I guess we should let you go, then, you know?" He started to walk away, then stopped next to Seifer and whispered to him, "We never do anything together anymore, you know?" Then he disappeared into the crowd again.

Fujin cocked her head at Ellone, obviously still suspicious. "SYMPATHY," she said finally, and she followed Raijin into the crowd.

Ellone breathed a sigh of relief. "That was close," she said under her breath, walking over to where Seifer was standing. She took his arm and pulled him towards the Ragnarok. They took the elevator up to the doors.

"Do you think they suspect anything?" Ellone asked nervously once they were safely inside the airship.

Seifer glanced out of a window and shrugged. "Fujin probably does. But I think she's suspected something about us for a while now. She seemed suspicious about my 'mission' this morning, too." He smirked. "Raijin is clueless, though. I can promise you that."

Ellone sighed. They had reached the passenger bay and she settled herself in a seat. "I just hope they don't do anything stupid," she said, mostly to herself.

Seifer seated himself next to her and smirked again. "If there's one thing you can count on Fujin and Raijin to do, it's something stupid."


	4. Chapter 4

**A Time of No Rain** - a Final Fantasy VIII fanfic  
_by Erika Riggio [Filia]_

Disclaimer: All of the characters of FFVIII belong to Squaresoft/SquareEnix.

---

**Chapter 4**

Rinoa stood behind the counter of the Rainedrop, rubbing a glass that was already quite clean with a worn-out rag. She was not entirely sure why she was even standing there; the pub was not set to open for another three hours. Cleaning glasses that were already clean was useless. But then again, everything was useless.

Since Squall's diagnosis and the confirmation of Rinoa's pregnancy, she had begun to feel increasingly nihilistic. What was the point in having a baby if the baby would never meet its father? What was the point of Squall being in Winhill now when he was just going to get sicker and have to go back to Balamb again? What was the point in living if the only thing guaranteed is death?

The cloth made a squeaking sound on the smooth glass. Rinoa failed to notice. She had begun to fail to notice a lot of things. Moreover, she had begun to fail at a lot of things. She was failing at being a good wife to her dying husband, she was failing at being a good mother to her unborn child, and she was failing at being a good friend to the people of the town who had given her so much out of concern and sympathy, not to mention failing at being a friend to people like Selphie, who was throwing everything aside to be with her.

What was the point of the world if there was no hope for anything?

Selphie came down the stairs just then, rubbing her eyes sleepily. "Up already, Rinoa?" she asked, peering at her friend curiously.

Rinoa didn't say anything; she had not even noticed the other woman had entered. She just continued to rub the glass with the cloth, a little bit harder than before. The squeaking became more intense.

Selphie tilted her head and looked at Rinoa with concern. This was not the first time Rinoa had not noticed her lately, but this time seemed different from usual. There seemed to be almost an aura of hopelessness wafting through the room, and it penetrated Selphie's usually sunny exterior and disturbed her. She felt her stomach churn with nervousness. "Rin?" she said tentatively, moving a step closer.

Nothing. Rinoa's eyes were slightly glazed as she stared into space.

"Rinoa," Selphie repeated, sounding more desperate. She took a few more steps forward and leaned on the tablel, looking up into Rinoa's face. "Rinoa? RINOA!"

There was a shatter as the pressure of Rinoa's hand caused the glass to finally give way. The shards scattered all over the counter, and Selphie jumped back to avoid them. Rinoa blinked in surprise, then looked up, finally noticing Selphie for the first time. She looked from Selphie to the broken glass, confused. "I- I'm sorry, Selphie," she said in a small voice. She looked around helplessly, in search of something with which to clean up the broken glass, but not recalling where anything was.

Selphie came around to the other side of the counter patiently and pulled a small broom and dustpan out from under the table. She swept up the glass without a word, then dumped it into the trash. Rinoa stood in silence the whole time, without moving. She still had the rag in one hand and the unbroken bottom of the glass in the other. A shard of glass had cut her hand, and it was bleeding into the rag, but she had not noticed.

Selphie stepped back and looked at Rinoa. "Here," she said, taking the rest of the glass out of her friend's hand and throwing it into the trash as well. "Rinoa, be more careful," she scolded, taking the rag and pressing it to Rinoa's cut. Rinoa looked down at her hand then, noticing the blood but not feeling pain. She felt the pressure of the cloth on her hand, but that was all.

Selphie looked into Rinoa's face, concern filling her eyes. "Rin, stop it," she said, with a hint of anger in her tone. "This is ridiculous. You come down here every morning, but you don't really _do_ anything. All you can do is hurt yourself and break things. You're so careless." 

"It doesn't matter," Rinoa replied in a flat tone. "It doesn't hurt."

Selphie bit her lip. She hated seeing Rinoa like this. "It hurts _me_, Rin. It hurts Irvine. It hurts Yuki and Lene." She glanced towards the stairs. "It hurts Squall, too."

Rinoa looked away, pulling her hand out of Selphie's. "It doesn't matter," she repeated listlessly.

"But it _does_!" Selphie exclaimed angrily, stamping her foot on the floor. "It does matter, Rinoa! Everything you do matters to someone, even if you don't think it does! Think about what you're doing to yourself! And even if you don't matter to yourself, think about your baby!" Tears, half angry, half pitiful, ran down Selphie's cheeks.

Rinoa paused. "Squall's going to die, Selphie," she said finally, quietly. "After that, nothing matters." Without looking back at her friend, she walked across the room and out the back door.

Selphie watched Rinoa leave, feeling helpless. She felt sick to her stomach. Was this what hopelessness felt like? Was this how Rinoa felt?

---

Ellone and Seifer, hand in hand, approached the front door of the Rainedrop. Ellone had to stop and stare up at it for a moment. It looked just the way she had remembered it, save the sign proclaiming its name, which was something Squall and Rinoa had added when they took it over. She felt a flood of memories from her childhood overtake her -- the day she had first come to live with Raine; the day Uncle Laguna had been brought to the pub, nearly dying, the numerous days of cheerful fun she had spent with Uncle Laguna; watching Uncle Laguna and Raine fall in love; the day the two were married; the day that Squall was born; and, above all, the day that Raine had died. Her mind wandered to when she and Squall were sent to Edea's House; Raine was dead, and Laguna was so torn apart that he simply could not care for the children anymore. Thinking about the days at Edea's House always led to thinking about the day she had been forced to leave, and that always made an uncomfortable lump rise in her throat. She always stopped her flow of memories at this point. It was just too painful.

Seifer squeezed her hand gently, trying to call her attention back to the present. "Should we go in?" he asked in a voice that seemed unusually timid for a man who usually seemed so sure of himself.

She looked at him, then swallowed and nodded. She was dreading entering the pub, dreading seeing how much it had changed. She treasured the memories of her childhood, when everything was good, when Raine was still alive. It seemed like all this old building could bring to anyone was death.

Seifer led the way, knowing that it would be impossible for Ellone to enter alone. He reached out and put his hand on the doorknob, then paused and glanced at her before opening it.

The room was dark; for a moment Ellone felt like nothing had changed after all, that somehow she had been transported back in time and that the small human frame she saw behind the counter would be Raine's. She stepped forward quickly, knowing that even though it could not be Raine, it would at least be Rinoa, a familiar face.

It was not the familiar face she had expected. It was Selphie.

Selphie blinked, cocking her head at the pair who had just entered. "Ellone?" she asked, then her eyes brightened. "Ellone!" she exclaimed, running around the counter and embracing the other woman. Ellone, dazed, hugged Selphie in turn. "Oh, I'm so glad you came! Rinoa said she'd written to you, but I wasn't sure if you'd be able to come. Oh, I'm so glad!" She squeezed Ellone's shoulders tightly, then let her go, putting her hands on the taller woman's shoulders and looking at her. "It's been so long," she said with a wide Selphie-smile.

Ellone blinked, then looked at Seifer with confusion. Seifer shrugged. "Where's Rinoa?" Ellone asked, her voice somewhat cold as a result of her bewilderment.

Selphie's face dropped. "Oh," she said, looking down at her feet, dejected. She nodded to the back door. "She's out in the garden." She felt a rush of air as Ellone hurried past her and sighed, looking up just in time to see Seifer walk past. She perked up again; she had not seen him before, as he had been standing in the shadows. "Seifer! Hi!"

"Hi," Seifer said shortly, brushing past her in his haste to follow Ellone.

Selphie pouted, putting her hands on her hips. Seifer never had been the sociable type, but the least he could do was look at her or something. Feeling rather crestfallen, she returned to her assumed position behind the counter, leaning against it.

"Ow!" she exclaimed, jumping back. She looked at her elbow; there was a trickle of blood just beginning. She glanced at the counter and noticed a missed piece of the glass Rinoa had broken earlier, poised just right to slice into her skin. She scowled at it before sweeping it into the garbage.

---

Rinoa was sitting in the same spot she had inhabited several days ago, the same spot that she inhabited most days. Since Selphie had arrived, Rinoa had completely given up on trying to take care of the pub. She knew Selphie was concerned for her, and was more than happy to run the establishment in her absence. She knew deep down that she was taking advantage of her friend, but for the most part she found that she did not care. It did not matter, after all. Besides, she was not sleeping well, what with caring for Squall, her morning sickness, and general sleepless nights, and she found that she could not force herself to work for long before fatigue set in. She did seem to sleep more than Selphie did, however, so how she had so much less energy than the other woman, even in her condition, confused her slightly.

But what did it matter, after all?

It was cherry blossom time. Under normal circumstances, Rinoa would be filled with joy at the first sign of the cheerful pink flowers coating the trees, but now they just filled her with anger. It was sickening, how life dared to go on while the life of the one she loved, and her own life as a consequence, was ending. She hated the cherry blossoms, and avoided looking at them, as they tended to make her want to break down in tears. Crying made her more tired than anything else, and she tried to avoid it as much as possible.

She was so busy ignoring the cherry blossoms that she also managed to ignore the creaking of the door as Ellone opened it, followed by Seifer. Ellone caught sight of Rinoa and was momentarily taken aback. She looked so pale, so much thinner than the last time Ellone had seen her. Ellone imagined she could see thin, pale streaks of premature gray in Rinoa's hair, but she convinced herself it was a trick of the light. She could not make herself move forward until she felt Seifer's hand on her shoulder, lending her warmth and strength. She reached up and put her hand over his briefly, then stepped forward into the light.

"Rinoa?" Ellone said softly, leaning forward and tilting her head in her familiar way.

Rinoa blinked, and she was unable to focus on the other woman for a moment. She blinked again, trying to get the sunlight out of her eyes; it was enveloping Ellone's form, making it hard for Rinoa to recognize her. Her trademark green shawl managed to give it away. "Ellone," she said softly, flatly, as if the woman's presence was of no consequence to her.

Ellone felt a lump in her throat. This was not the Rinoa she remembered, the Rinoa who Squall had passionately convinced her to help him save. She had to be mistaken; this was a different person. But her aura convinced her otherwise. "I- I'm sorry." It was all she could think of to say.

Rinoa turned away, as if she were already bored with her visitor. "Squall's upstairs, if you want to see him."

Ellone looked back at Seifer, but he did not have anything encouraging to offer. "I wanted to see you first, Rinoa," she insisted finally, biting her lip to quell the urge to run away and cry.

There was a pause, then Rinoa laughed humorlessly. "You feel sorry for me. Just like _she_ does." She glared at the door to the interior of the Raindrop, and there was an air of contempt in her tone. Ellone knew she was talking about Selphie -- but why? The last she remembered, after their respective weddings, Rinoa and Selphie had been the best of friends. What had happened? "I don't want to talk to someone who's just going to tell me she's sorry," Rinoa continued. "Sorry for what? For not being able to do anything? No one can do anything, so it's not like your apology is going to make any difference. Sorry for not coming sooner? It wouldn't have mattered even if you did." Her tone was heartless; she knew she was ripping Ellone to shreds inside and she didn't care.

Ellone made a small noise, as if she were choking on something. Seifer finally stepped out of the shadows and put his hand on her shoulder. "You have no right to talk to milady like that," he snapped, a hint of rage in his voice.

Rinoa looked up and saw Seifer, and her eyes narrowed at him dangerously. "I didn't ask you to come, Seifer," she said in a cold tone. "Squall doesn't want you here."

"_You_ don't want me here," Seifer countered. "And maybe Squall doesn't want me here, either, but I'm here just the same. I have to protect milady." His hand slid down her arm to take hold of her hand, which was trembling. He squeezed it gently.

"When have you ever done what anyone wanted, Seifer?!" Rinoa shouted. Her voice, however, was still as close to emotionless as it could possibly be. "All you care about is yourself! That's all you've ever cared about!"

Ellone could not take it anymore. She closed her eyes, fighting back tears. She hated this. Why had she come at all? She started to turn and run away, back to the airship and to Esthar, but Seifer caught her wrist when she slipped her hand out of his.

Seifer then did the last thing Ellone had expected him to. He shrugged. "What does it matter, right? It doesn't matter whether I'm here or not." He narrowed his eyes at her. "Don't think I don't know how you feel, Rinoa. Don't think that you're the only person who's ever lost someone." He slipped his hand back down from Ellone's wrist to clasp her hand again in comfort. When he spoke again, his voice was soft. "I watched my entire family die when our house caught fire. My mother, my father, my brother and sisters. I think I've got a pretty good idea of what you're feeling. And Ellone does, too. So do Selphie and Irvine and all the rest. So it's useless to sit there and feel sorry for yourself and take your anger out on other people. You might think that everything in the world is useless, but what you're doing to yourself and to everyone else is the most useless thing of all." With that, he turned, gave Ellone a quick kiss on the cheek, and walked back into the Rainedrop without another word.

Ellone stood in shock. She'd never heard Seifer say anything like that before. He had never talked about how his family died, about why he'd had to go and live with the rest of them at Edea's House. It shocked her, and she could not find any words, either for Rinoa or for herself.

Finally, Ellone cautioned a look at Rinoa. She was sitting on the bench, in the same position as when they had entered the garden, but she was sobbing noiselessly, her face hidden from view behind the curtain of her hair.

Ellone's sympathy caused her to sit next to Rinoa without a sound, silently putting her arm around her gently. She felt Rinoa shudder under her touch, but she did not pull away. Ellone slowly used her other arm to gather Rinoa up and pull her closer. And so the two women sat, no words spoken between them, Rinoa curled up in Ellone's arms, sobbing like a child.

---

Seifer was fuming, to put it lightly. Why had he opened his mouth? He had not even shared those things with Rinoa when they had been dating, before she had met Squall. Why had he brought them up now? Dead memories were better left alone; only he knew how he had wrestled with those demons of his past until they were deep inside him under lock and key. The rest of his emotions had been stored there as well; maybe that had something to do with it?

Seifer did not resent Ellone. That would be saying too much. But sometimes her ability to make his innermost thoughts and feelings rear their ugly heads got to be a bit too much for him.

He stormed through the Rainedrop, past a very shocked Selphie. "What's the big idea, Seifer?" she shouted at him. He stopped for a moment, then finally turned to face her.

Selphie blinked. She had expected him to just keep walking; it's what he would have done in the old days. But, she had to keep reminding herself, this was not the old days. Now she was left with nothing planned to say. "You come in here acting all high and mighty," she stammered, making things up as she went along, "like you're too good to even say hello to me?"

"I did say hello to you," Seifer countered slowly. Even now, he felt like he had to treat Selphie like a retarded child. "Unless a simple 'hi' isn't good enough for you? Well, in that case," he said with a pompous air, kneeling down with a flourish, "a good day to you, Lady Selphie Tilmitt Kinneas. My deepest apologies for insulting your highness." He got up with a smirk. "You never grow up."

Selphie looked deeply offended. She looked up at Seifer, a hurt look in her eyes. "You know that's not what I meant, Seifer," she replied, her voice sounded more confident than she looked. "We used to be on the same team, you know."

"And then we were enemies," Seifer added, resisting the urge to glare at her. "So should I have said 'hello' before I tried to kill you all?" He shrugged. "Look, I shouldn't have come. Tell Ellone I went back to Esthar, okay?" With that, he started for the door. 

Selphie bit her lip. "No, wait!" she exclaimed, running after Seifer and grabbing his arm. "C'mon, at least see Squall before you go? It might do him some good to see a fri-" She cut herself off, loathe to call Seifer a friendly face. "To see someone he knows. From the old days."

"I'd really rather not," Seifer snapped, pulling his arm from Selphie's girlish grip and stalking out the door. Selphie stood in the middle of the room for a few minutes, looking sad and dejected.

Seifer walked down the street a little, going at a brisk pace, just trying to let off some steam. He was not watching where he was going, really, but the streets were still rather deserted. "Blasted dead town," Seifer said to himself, voice filled with contempt. "Squall might as well be dying of boredom." He kicked a rock down the street, watching it skip as if on water.

"Hey! That hurt, you know?"

Seifer looked up sharply. He could not believe his eyes. "Raijin? What the hell are you doing here?"

The big man was standing outside of a weapons shop, apparently waiting for the lithe blue-clad figure who was browsing about inside. "Fujin made me come, you know?" He motioned to the shop. "She's in there now. She said she wanted to see Winhill, you know? Well, that's basically what she said, you know?" It was clear that Raijin had no clear conception of why they had really followed Seifer and Ellone to Winhill, which was fine by Seifer.

"You didn't have any right to follow us," Seifer snapped, fully aware that Raijin was not the one with which he should be angry. But he was here, and to be honest, Fujin scared Seifer a little bit. "You should go back to Esthar before the Presidential Guard realizes you're gone."

"Aw, they don't care none, you know?" Raijin kicked the rock that Seifer had kicked at him. It whizzed through the air and out of sight. "Everything kind of falls apart every time you leave anyway, you know?"

Just then, Fujin came out of the weapons shop and approached the two men. "SEIFER," she snapped, her tone reprimanding.

Seifer turned to Fujin, knowing that he would get more information from her one-word answers than from all of Raijin's babbling. "What are you two doing here?" He tried to sound intimidating, but was not entirely sure he was successful.

"FOLLOW," she said, putting her hands on her hips. "SUSPICION." Her grey eyes narrowed.

Seifer looked at the ground. "'Bout what?" he asked lamely, even though he knew full well why Fujin was suspicious. She had every right to be.

"ELLONE," she snapped. Seifer could hear the anger in her tone just as easily as he could see it in her eyes. "RELATIONSHIP," she added in a lower tone, practically spitting out the word to watch it writhe on the ground.

"It's not like that," Seifer said quickly -- too quickly. He saw the disbelief in Fujin's eyes and knew instantly that she was not buying it. "I mean, that's not why we came here, if that's what you're thinking." He could not think of a single way to rectify the situation. If Ellone were here, she would have thought of something. But she was not here.

Fujin paused, pondering for a moment. "EXPLAIN," she said finally, looking a mite more patient than she had at first.

Seifer looked at the ground, unable to look his two friends in the eye. How could he explain? What should he explain? Should he tell them about him and Ellone, how they had been together for months, how he thought he might be in love with her? Or should he just hide the relationship even more and just tell them about Squall, and explain away his presence as Ellone's need for her guardian? Every idea he came up with seemed inadequate somehow. He was silent for a very long time; an unusually long time, which Fujin picked up on. He had to say _something_ -- but what?

Finally, Seifer just sighed. "Can we go somewhere to talk, Fujin?" he said in a low tone, trying to keep Raijin from hearing. The big man was not really paying attention, which was preferable to Seifer. Despite his being a little frightened of her, Seifer always preferred talking to Fujin. Raijin had a tendency to interrupt, misunderstand, and draw false conclusions. Fujin would just _listen_.

Fujin blinked. She had not expected this. Finally she pointed at a small coffee shop on the corner. "THERE," she said. Then she nodded at Raijin. "LOSE."

Seifer nodded, understanding her meaning. "Raijin, why don't you go fetch us some sandwiches?" he said quickly, not really thinking about what he was saying. He just wanted to get the stupid oaf out of there.

"POTIONS," Fujin added, pointing at the shop down the street.

Raijin looked at Seifer and Fujin in turn, then shrugged. "Sure, I'll get that stuff, you know?" He turned and walked down the street and out of sight.

"HOURS," Fujin said smugly. Raijin really would be occupied with those two tasks for a few hours at least; there were so many types of potions these days, and Raijin would likely stare at the display for some time trying to decide which type Fujin had meant. The sandwich proposition would be equally baffling.

Seifer shot a halfhearted smile at Fujin. He knew she was pleased; any idiot could tell how much she liked him. That was another reason why he wanted to explain this whole thing to Fujin alone; he knew she would hide her feelings no matter where they were, but having Raijin there to make some kind of idiotic comment would make the whole thing worse. Seifer looked over his shoulder to make sure Raijin was safely inside the shop before he led the way into the coffee shop.

He chose a small table in the corner. Neither one ordered anything when pressed by the waitress, which seemed to upset her quite a bit. Both Seifer and Fujin ignored it, however.

"TELL," Fujin said finally, after several minutes had passed in which neither one of them had said anything.

The reason Seifer had not yet said anything was that he had no idea where to start. He opened his mouth after Fujin spoke, but he could not think of anything to say. Several good starts came into his mind, but none of them seemed to lead anywhere constructive.

"Squall's dying," he said finally, at a loss for any way to talk about himself and Ellone. He figured Squall was the next best thing.

Fujin's eyes were wide with shock. "LIE," she insisted.

Seifer shook his head. "I didn't believe it either, until I came here and saw Rinoa. She's in shock, of course. She's pretty much completely lost touch with reality. It's ridiculous." Seifer had not realized just how ridiculous he thought the situation was until he said it. All the events of the past few days had this aura surrounding them, making it all seem unreal. That disconnection with reality was what seemed ridiculous to Seifer. He shrugged, unsure what else to say.

Fujin nodded, as if comprehending the totality of what Seifer had told her. "YOU?" she asked after a moment, her eyes narrowed to slits again.

Seifer swallowed, unsure of what exactly she meant. What about him? Why was he here? How did he feel about the situation? Why was Ellone so important that he had to follow her all the way here? He just picked an answer almost at random. "I'm only here because Ellone asked me to come," he said. It was only partially a lie; that was part of the reason he had come. "I'm pretty sure Squall doesn't want me here. Rinoa seemed upset that I came." His throat constricted as he said those words; why did it hurt so much that Rinoa did not want him around? They had not been together for years. "I was just getting ready to leave when I ran into you," he added in a lower tone. He felt guilty about abandoning Ellone, but what else could he do when he was so clearly unwanted?

Fujin just nodded again. Seifer could almost see her brain working, trying to find any flaws in his story. This would not be the first time he had lied to her. He could not help but wonder what she saw in him after all -- what anyone saw in him, for that matter.

It took a few minutes for Fujin to speak again. Her voice was very quiet and stiff. "LOVE?"

If Seifer had ordered any coffee, he would have choked on it. Even without it, he still managed to choke a little. "What?" he sputtered. He was unnerved both by the sound of Fujin's voice and her forwardness, a quality that should not shock him anymore. But when that forwardness was coupled with that tone, he did not know what to say anymore.

"LOVE," Fujin repeated, more insistent this time. He knew she was serious, he just did not know how to answer her.

Seifer buried his head in his hands. "Maybe," he answered, speaking into his palms.

Fujin leaned back in her chair. This was nothing less than she had expected. So why did it hurt so much? It was not as if she had not been steeling herself against this for years. At a moment, she rose from her chair and nodded at Seifer. "ALL," she said shortly, signifying the end of their conversation. She turned swiftly and went out of the coffee shop, walking down the street in search of Raijin.

Seifer did not even move when he realized she had left. He just sat in the same position for quite some time, feeling his heart tear apart. Even the waitress knew better than to pester him about something so trivial as a cup of coffee.


End file.
